I Siduduzo Mncube, declared this week as "Coming out week". This was to honour everyone who struggled to come out, but eventually did. We all know how hard it is to come out and what a relief it is to come out.
The idea of this week is not to force people to come out, but to encourage those who feel they are ready to come out to do so and be aware of the risks and advantages of coming out.
What Does It Mean to "Come Out"?
Coming out is the process of personally accepting your sexuality and telling others. The coming out process is different for every person. Some experience anxiety, pain and anguish while others find acceptance easier. You may also experience fear, doubt, loneliness, anger and even depression. That's why it is good to surround yourself with others that may be going through the same transition or who have already come out. They can be a great support system.
Coming out is the process of personally accepting your sexuality and telling others. The coming out process is different for every person. Some experience anxiety, pain and anguish while others find acceptance easier. You may also experience fear, doubt, loneliness, anger and even depression. That's why it is good to surround yourself with others that may be going through the same transition or who have already come out. They can be a great support system.
Coming Out To Your Family and Friends
After coming out to yourself the next step can be quite difficult: Sharing your sexuality with your loved ones and friends. One of the overriding fears of coming out is the fear of rejection from those we love. You may wonder if your family or friends will stop loving you. Some family and friends have a hard time accepting a gay loved one, while others are extremely supportive.
After coming out to yourself the next step can be quite difficult: Sharing your sexuality with your loved ones and friends. One of the overriding fears of coming out is the fear of rejection from those we love. You may wonder if your family or friends will stop loving you. Some family and friends have a hard time accepting a gay loved one, while others are extremely supportive.
BEFORE YOU COME OUT
:
•Educate yourself on being GLBT. That way if your parents start saying things that are inaccurate you can correct them (for example, that all gay people are promiscuous or lonely, or that being GLBT is a mental illness that can be "cured").
•Make sure you have a support system in place. It is important to have a friend, teacher or older relative who can be there for you if your parents react badly.
•Look into GLBT organizations to learn more, meet other GLBT kids, and find support.
...
WHEN YOU COME OUT:
•Try to stay calm.
•Realize this might be a big surprise for your family and something that might contradict long-standing beliefs they have.
•Don't expect them to understand exactly how you are feeling.
•Give them credit if they make an effort, even if their effort seems rather weak.
•If you have a support person who you know your parents respect and trust, you might want to have them there.
•Offer to share information with them. You might want to bring pamphlets from a group like GAY & LESBIAN NETWORK.
AFTER YOU'VE CAME OUT:
•If they are not reacting as you had hoped, keep in mind that they might still be letting the news sink in.
•Ask if they have any questions.
•Some families benefit from family therapy, however, this can be detrimental if the therapist takes a homophobic stance.
•Consider getting individual counseling.
•Talk to supportive friends and family members.
•Join online support communities.
•Try to show your parents that you are the same multi-dimensional person you always were, by participating in family activities and sharing aspects of your life with them.
It is common for parents to go through plenty of emotions when a child comes out. Many feel shock, disbelief, denial, anger, hurt, and confusion. But even if your parents express these emotions, they very well might come to a place of acceptance over time.
If you think that coming out might jeopardize your safety or your ability to live at home, it might not be a good idea to come out to your parents right now.
:
•Educate yourself on being GLBT. That way if your parents start saying things that are inaccurate you can correct them (for example, that all gay people are promiscuous or lonely, or that being GLBT is a mental illness that can be "cured").
•Make sure you have a support system in place. It is important to have a friend, teacher or older relative who can be there for you if your parents react badly.
•Look into GLBT organizations to learn more, meet other GLBT kids, and find support.
...
WHEN YOU COME OUT:
•Try to stay calm.
•Realize this might be a big surprise for your family and something that might contradict long-standing beliefs they have.
•Don't expect them to understand exactly how you are feeling.
•Give them credit if they make an effort, even if their effort seems rather weak.
•If you have a support person who you know your parents respect and trust, you might want to have them there.
•Offer to share information with them. You might want to bring pamphlets from a group like GAY & LESBIAN NETWORK.
AFTER YOU'VE CAME OUT:
•If they are not reacting as you had hoped, keep in mind that they might still be letting the news sink in.
•Ask if they have any questions.
•Some families benefit from family therapy, however, this can be detrimental if the therapist takes a homophobic stance.
•Consider getting individual counseling.
•Talk to supportive friends and family members.
•Join online support communities.
•Try to show your parents that you are the same multi-dimensional person you always were, by participating in family activities and sharing aspects of your life with them.
It is common for parents to go through plenty of emotions when a child comes out. Many feel shock, disbelief, denial, anger, hurt, and confusion. But even if your parents express these emotions, they very well might come to a place of acceptance over time.
If you think that coming out might jeopardize your safety or your ability to live at home, it might not be a good idea to come out to your parents right now.
It saddens me that the LGBTI community doesn't take advantage of such platforms to engage and hold each other's hands through the trying times of this life!!!!!
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