I say; you said...What are we speaking?

 

We have seen it, we've heard it...the use of self-constructed words to a point that even the people talking to each other have lost their original ideas. In each  culture, town, city, the people have a common "tongue" that they share that in a way excludes those that are not from that area. We all have heard my coloured brothers screamin," hey my bru, I chuned you that I will naai that stekkie" or the young Indian college boys saying "why you  dala that ek'se" and the ordinary adult stands there trying to figure out "what the heck". Language has become fluorescent as the times has nurtured a youth that type shorter sentences and live for fast foods. Short messages are plagues with "l.o.l" ( meaning laugh out loud") which itself has been adapted to "L.L.M" meaning laugh like Mawande. Even the marginalised groups like prisoners have their own language the resonate to their lifestyle and personality. Well the LGBTI community has their own language...Gay lingo. 

 

Like any other language, gay lingo is set across cultural diversity. In Zulu, the language is called isingqumo. You are more likely to hear this type of language amongst homosexuals in KwaZulu Natal. You will hear terms like iqenge, isigeqo, ukujujuma and a whole lot more. Funny enough it is rare for a gay guy or lesbian to tell you that someone taught them the lingo, it seems like it grows on individuals who are part of a clique that normally communicate using this language. Like any other evolving language. Homosexuals have modernized their language. What was iqenge is now iQ. I have heard that there' s an English version of this gay language. The few terms I have heard were fish, which means girl. A bag or number which means a boyfriend or partner. Aida is AIDS, mavis is your girly gay boys.

 

There's a term for every word within these languages. I am frankly opened to learn more of these languages in order to communicate with every gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexuals and intersex. To my surprise, "straight people have accustomed to this language. Others use it to put someone down and some use it to get cosy with our esteemed homosexual community.

 

If you know a word that is a gay slang/ lingo. Fell free to comment on the blog and tell us more. If anyone knows how these languages came about, share it with me. I would love to know so we can educate more LGBTI's on these language, to create a sense of unity and community.

 

Psiidu XX

 

Gay son: Lesbian daughter

Source(twitter):Psiidu @gaylesbiankzn

Homosexual, heterosexual or asexual. You are a child conceived and raised by loving parents. They sacrifice so much to make sure we have a brighter and better future. They grin and bear with our ever evolving attitudes as we go through adolescence. Then boom, we drop the bomb..."Mum I'm GAY"..."Dad I like girls" by a daughter. What are the initial responses we get from our parents? What responses do we expect after breaking such news to our mothers and fathers.

Well I never had to tell my mum...she caught me in the act. Don't do that! I'm not the only guy who got caught in the act to come out. So me and my boy were in my room, temperatures rising as we thought whoa this will be the best making out ever. Until the door opened... actually we heard the rustling sound of plastics, but that was too late. Mum had stood there, watching two boys kissing like they were ready to swallow each other. We jumped and tried to compose ourselves and she kept quiet. My boy and I quietly left the house. On my way back all that was going through my head was she knows I'm gay, how could she not know, I'm her only son. Surely something must've resembled my sexuality.
When I got home, I promise it was almost as if she had been rehearsing whilst I was away. She was speaking 50words per second. She shouted like that, telling me what a disappointment I am. Where have I seen two men doing the nasty? Who in my family does that? Funny enough I was not phased by most of what she said, until she said something about packing my bags and leaving the house... Which I didn't do ofcourse. However she hit me that night with a plastic jar on my forehead, I have a scar to prove that! Two weeks later, she bought cake and we started speaking normally again.

That's just my story. What I'm trying to say is, I actually expected my mum to say "oh ja, I've always known you'd be GAY or QUEER" but she didn't. I remember while she was shouting at me, she mentioned "no one in my family was homosexual". Today I have 4 homosexual relatives, 2 gays + me and 2 lesbians. Now the dilemma is , the lesbians are better accepted by family. Its been 8years since I came out but I still can't say "Im with my boyfriend mah. My lesbian cousin brings her girlfriends home and mum sits there like Im the one who brought a MAKOTI home. Why is our parents and the society at large is more tolerant towards LESBIANS than GAYS?

Lesbians out there, share how you view this dilemma. Tell us how you came out and how has your society received you as a proud and out lesbian. Gay guys do the same please. Is it just me or this is another case of sexism???

Next time we will be paying tribute to our LGBTI members who passed on because of their sexuality. Hate crimes  and this ridiculous idea of corrective rape....I mean really? Corrective rape guys?

I love you guys XX

PINK MYNAH FESTIVAL

 

 

 

The Pink Mynah Festival is a celebration of all things pink in Pietermaritzburg , when the Gay and Lesbian Network takes to the streets to celebrate the life and talents of all Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) people in the whole world. The event might be staged in KwaZulu Natal, but the organization acknowledges all the LGBTI's of the world in their celebration.

The week long festival begins with a series of workshops on gender and sexuality, sexual awareness, positive living and many more. In 2013, the organization plans on having a workshop for parents of the LGBTI community. It is then followed by film shows. Showcasing some of the local and international films on LGBTI issues. Recently the organization has formed a theatre company, The Rainbow Theatre Company. The aim of this company is to produce stage plays that will tackle stereotypes and tell authentic African stories of homosexuals.

Friday will be the night Pietermaritzburg crowns their Mr & Miss PMB. All the beauties and beaus will take to the ramp for the mighty title. During this event we are looking to have performances from the renowned dance crew, Vintage crew. The host could be Ayanda makuzeni from the youth tv show Hectic nine9 on SABC 2. The evening will incorporate an awards ceremony to acknowledge the amazing people for their special talents and contributions to the organization and a black tie gala dinner.

Saturday morning is the final day of the Pink mynah Festival. The Gay and Lesbian network and its patriots will take to the streets for the famous gay march called the PRIDE PARADE. It will be followed by an exhibition show and entertainment before the sun sets behind mountains. When the owls wake up to scout for food, we will be strutting our stuff to the after party to rival all parties. The venue has not yet been disclosed....but keep your eyes peeled or you just might miss the action!

The network is a registered non-profit organisation and aims to address the social and developmental needs of the gay and lesbian community in Pietermaritzburg and the midlands region.

INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA(IDAHO)

 

What is homophobia?

There is no single definition for the term ‘homophobia’, as it covers a wide range of different viewpoints and attitudes. Homophobia is generally defined as hostility towards or fear of gay people, but can also refer to social ideologies which stigmatise homosexuality.  Furthermore a collection of negative feelings or attitudes towards non-heterosexual behaviour, identity, relationships and community, can lead to homophobic behaviour. This is the root of the discrimination experienced by many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) people. Homophobia manifests itself in different forms, for example homophobic jokes, physical attacks, discrimination in the workplace and negative media representation.

 

Causes of Homophobia

In contrast to most phobias, it is widely believed that homophobia is primarily caused by a person’s direct environment rather then an inherent view held within them or any series of traumatic events. Here are the most common demographics that have reported the highest levels of homophobia:

• Older men
• Low levels of education
• Religious
• Supportive of traditional gender roles
• Politically conservative
• Residing in a geographic area where tolerance of same-sex marriages are incredibly low (Southern regions of the United States, for example)

Homophobia is usually viewed in a socially negative context; gay men and women do not see themselves as making a choice in their relationship patterns but rather are born with a different sexual preference. This routes back to the idea that, even though hating a specific group of people will usually be viewed as morally wrong, it is unfair to hate a person based on a decision they are not capable of making (sex, race, sexual preference, etc.). While a person that is unsupportive of homosexual relationships may be entitled to their opinion, homophobia is commonly known for extending beyond the boundaries of the mind. This usually leads to separate issues like segregation, discrimination or even acts of physical violence

Homophobia in South Africa
 

Gruesome sexual violence against lesbians has become so common in South Africa that it has its own macabre label: “corrective rape.” This term refers to the fact that many of its victims are told by their perpetrators that they are being raped to cure them of their supposedly unnatural sexual orientation. The exact number of such victims is unknown, but there are weekly reports here of violence against sexual minorities. In May, Human Rights Watch called this slew of hate crimes an “epidemic.”

 

This is not just a shocking reality; it’s also a great social and legal puzzle if you consider just how progressive South African laws are on issues of sex and sexuality. South Africa was the first country in the world to put a constitutional ban on discrimination by any individual or institution, private or public, on the basis of sexual orientation. This prohibition, coupled with another provision in the 1996 Constitution committing to promote dignity and substantive equality for all, has spawned a very progressive jurisprudence on gay rights.

 

 In South Africa today gay couples can marry and jointly adopt children; they are entitled to the same benefits as their heterosexual counterparts, whether married or not. In a recent landmark judgment, the constitutional court ruled that no one could be held civilly liable for calling or depicting someone else as gay. Being portrayed as a homosexual, the logic goes, simply is not a legally recognizable harm.

 

 

 



COMING OUT

 

I Siduduzo Mncube, declared this week as "Coming out week". This was to honour everyone who struggled to come out, but eventually did. We all know how hard it is to come out and what a relief it is to come out.

The idea of this week is not to force people to come out, but to encourage those who feel they are ready to come out to do so and be aware of the risks and advantages of coming out.

 

 

 What Does It Mean to "Come Out"?
Coming out is the process of personally accepting your sexuality and telling others. The coming out process is different for every person. Some experience anxiety, pain and anguish while others find acceptance easier. You may also experience fear, doubt, loneliness, anger and even depression. That's why it is good to surround yourself with others that may be going through the same transition or who have already come out. They can be a great support system.

 

 

Coming Out To Your Family and Friends

After coming out to yourself the next step can be quite difficult: Sharing your sexuality with your loved ones and friends. One of the overriding fears of coming out is the fear of rejection from those we love. You may wonder if your family or friends will stop loving you. Some family and friends have a hard time accepting a gay loved one, while others are extremely supportive.

 

 

BEFORE YOU COME OUT
:
•Educate yourself on being GLBT. That way if your parents start saying things that are inaccurate you can correct them (for example, that all gay people are promiscuous or lonely, or that being GLBT is a mental illness that can be "cured").
•Make sure you have a support system in place. It is important to have a friend, teacher or older relative who can be there for you if your parents react badly.
•Look into GLBT organizations to learn more, meet other GLBT kids, and find support.
...
WHEN YOU COME OUT:

•Try to stay calm.
•Realize this might be a big surprise for your family and something that might contradict long-standing beliefs they have.
•Don't expect them to understand exactly how you are feeling.
•Give them credit if they make an effort, even if their effort seems rather weak.
•If you have a support person who you know your parents respect and trust, you might want to have them there.
•Offer to share information with them. You might want to bring pamphlets from a group like GAY & LESBIAN NETWORK.

AFTER YOU'VE CAME OUT:

•If they are not reacting as you had hoped, keep in mind that they might still be letting the news sink in.
•Ask if they have any questions.
•Some families benefit from family therapy, however, this can be detrimental if the therapist takes a homophobic stance.
•Consider getting individual counseling.
•Talk to supportive friends and family members.
•Join online support communities.
•Try to show your parents that you are the same multi-dimensional person you always were, by participating in family activities and sharing aspects of your life with them.

It is common for parents to go through plenty of emotions when a child comes out. Many feel shock, disbelief, denial, anger, hurt, and confusion. But even if your parents express these emotions, they very well might come to a place of acceptance over time.

If you think that coming out might jeopardize your safety or your ability to live at home, it might not be a good idea to come out to your parents right now.